Exude Excellence

I walked to salsa Tuesday night and even though you’re supposed to wear shoes and trousers for the classes as trainers are too grippy, I walked in with my Pumas and my trackie bottoms as I couldn’t be bothered to get changed and I was running late anyways. At class there was this girl, who I shall call, Toni, so Toni was new and I haven’t seen her before. At salsa when you learn to dance you dance with everyone and change partners so it wasn’t long before I was dancing with Toni. At salsa you don’t need a canned opener and how well you salsa is your basic DHV. So when it was my turn to dance with Toni, I started with “Hi, How are you?” and then a polite “Thank you for the dance” when it was time to move on and change partners. The next time I danced with her, I introduced myself and we shook hands and then I asked her how long she had danced before, she gave me her name and she said that she hadn’t been dancing for long. At salsa I feel at home, I’ve been dancing since last October and I know many of the people there so I had lots of people to talk to. Then during the break between the beginners and improvers class these two other new guys came over to speak to me, Noss and Sam, I’ve seen Sam before but Noss said he recognised me from somewhere else I had no idea where and we spent a little while trying to work it out but we couldn’t, then all 3 of us fluffed for a while, Toni stood in ear shot talking to someone else as this went on. I did the improvers class and continued to chat to Toni and dance with her during the class. When we left we all planned to go to the Forum but I wanted to go to the library before going straight to the Forum and she wanted to go do work at her studio before going to the Forum so we walked towards the university together and she asked me if I was going to the Forum and I said I was and she said that I should give her my number so we can walk down together after we finish our work. I agreed. I’m not sure what it was. It could have been because I dressed differently, I knew lots of people which demonstrated that I had HV and I was preselected, I could be because I’m pretty good at salsa, maybe I came across confident, polite and a good communicator. Maybe because we had a lot of kino but whatever the reason was: she wanted my number and she felt comfortable asking for my number. It could be a whole host of things that allowed me to get that number exchange but all I know is this, always exude excellence be your best self you never know what might happen when you wake up in the morning. Do your hair, dress well, be socialbe, smile and enjoy life. Happiness is infectious. Be excellent to attract excellence. Peace, D.

Another city

Today was the day i was to meet up with a wing in Nottingham. The weather was miserable but pressed on as i had been lacking in practice all week. I was to meet 'weaponx' as he was so called, upon meeting up we decided that we would approach at least 5 targets excluding warm ups.

Approach 3 ( carrying on from previous post)

Intended as a warm up but turned out to be alright. Approached a HB and opened with the an opinion opener, thinking that my wing would stay (he left) in the conversation i expressed that 'me and my mate were arguing about this....'. she responded positively and talked about her past experience with lying. ' i responded with a comment on what she said. after i told her she looked kinda spanish, she was prompt to correct me that she was brazilian. and followed up with 'so what are you doing in england?' may be i said it in a way that was a bit demanding because i could see her edging away. she started walking away and saying she was in a hurry after she told me she was studying here.

I thought nothing of it because i saw it at the time as a warm up. But the that was my sticking point - i didnt reach a hook point, i could have inclined the situation by challenging or qualifying her.

Approach 4 

This was a three set we opened together (me and weaponx). i opened with the situation opener who lies more to get x involved. it was going well. afterwards i stacked by saying that we had traveled into notts to buy a present for a friend, (ive started using this topic to involve the persons in the set, not just as an opener). They replied back with usual response .. blah blah blah. this is where the set went down hill - weaponx i felt was a bit inexperineced at this point started to coming off as demanding and left the conversation a bit dry. At that point we ejected.

reflecting back there was one HB that talked the most, another who talked every now and again and the third who didnt say anything. I could have verbalized this to challenge them.

Approach 5

Wasn't really much here - opened direct ' i think you look amazing' . she replied back thankyou  and walked straight passed me. Thinking about what i did when i opened, i withdrew eye contact which in my opinion is crucial in opening any type of set.

I felt a bit better after x told me that he had suffered from worse outcomes than just a 'thankyou'.

Approach 6

This HB was a 'walking target' dressed in this ridiculous furry coat, with bear like ears sticking up out of  the hood . didnt see her face but just thought had to approach anyway. opened from a little infront, ' i love your coat  by the way'  . Hb ' aww, thanks' Me - 'wer did you get such a coat from?' . she says some shop i hadnt heard of. anyway i cut straight to the chase tell her how wonderful she looked, again ' aww thankyou' . i stacked with the present topic. and she responded with 'i dont really know' at this point i think was asking too many questions . told her accent doesn't sound from around and where she was from. responding that she was at university and from milton keyns. As we reached the ended of the road, heres where the cringing starts; shes says she need to go right and told me 'you need to go the other way dont you?', i was like i can can come and walk with you!! fuarrrk! straight after i said it registered and i think it come off weird. Jus ejected straight after.

Another outcome was to number close when we stopped, telling her along the lines of we should meet up for coffee sometime :s

x pointed out that i had to be careful because it was showing when in had the cringe worthy moments in the conversation.

Today i learnt i needed to hold eye contact when opening at least, display a bit of emotion and don't let what i think implement itself in to the conversation.

going to try the yad stop next time

Approaching with different approach

before i set off i had allot of anxiety, mainly about the weather because of on and off heavy rain typical England in April. But anyway managed to get out while it was sunny. I have decided that i want to count my approaches and just label any desirable approaches with just HB, as ones perception is different to anothers. 

First warm up - approached a girl who was just about to cross the road, when i stopped her and complimented her on her funky choice of glasses. Her face lit up and then i left.

1st approach

i met one of my friends on the way into town as i was chatting two HBs came walking in front.

I had to approach. Walking a bit ahead of them at first i opened straight with the bought a present opener basically but said it differently this time as, i initially intended this to be a warm up. the HB furthest away was the most attractive but i made eye contact with both to as keep the conversation flowing. Later on i asked them if they were students or not they were taken a back, but remedied the situation by tell them they i assumed because they had a great fashion sense. Started to fluff the convo by asking about what they were doing today. But i really wanted to separate the HB  furthest away from her friend but with out offending as they had both been really friendly and helpful. I kinda blew it as i dragged on the chatting and could feel the tension so i ejected closing by adding thanks for the advice.

What i noticed from that set was the HB furthest away (the target) was replying positively to my interactions, in terms of body language too. Need to figure out how to separate the friend when this type of situation comes up again.

I wasn't intending to go far into town that day because i might get caught in the rain (limiting belief). O and also i pinched myself about 5 times saw some stunning HB but didnt approach.

Anyway as i go into town it starts tipping it down with rain, and later receive a call that my mates gonna be coming round in half an hour so i start walking it back from town.

On the way i see a woman and randomly chat about the weather and her day and she comments on my curly hair, funny convo but not leading anywhere.

Approach 2

On the main road, reflecting back on some cringing thoughts and some anxiety about not having enough approaches. This is when i see this absolute stunner in the distance, tanned, slim figure. She was wearing headphones at the time as she crossed over i stopped and said along the lines of 'i just had to say i think you look amazing'. Either she was excited or a talkative person because she was doing most of the talking. turned out she was a mother of two but stated that she was single and was in rush to pick her kids up from the train station babbling on about how she and her divorced don't really speak. she introduced herself as taira or tania shaking with her, i think i might have looked a bit worried because she followed up with were likely to bump into each other again on this street don't worry. At this point i should have realize i could have exchanged numbers, but didn't and let her get on her way. Another pinch was needed!

Analyzing the above, i came in with mind set with getting rid of my approach anxiety, not realizing that i could go beyond and number close, and also i could have talked more in the interaction brushing off her time constraint (this could be seen as a shit test in one way).

In the Red

in the past week i have been suffering from allot of anxiety and have struggled with any approaches. But today i did something i hadn't done ever. here it is:

Just left my house and to start interactions i saw a guy and asked him for the time as he was speaking a really hot dressed HB walked passed, tight black trousers with cuts down the side, red hair. OMG! As i finished interacting with the guy, she ended up walking beside me which made it easier to open.

 I opened with - do u know where the nearest HSBC bank is? ( i noticed i looked over my shoulder when i spoke) non-threatening?

she replied positively by saying probably town , as were walking in the direction i asked where she was going and turned out she was heading the same way.

I thought fuck it enough of this, ive used this line so many times and its ended up a bit dry.

I looked at her and told her straight, ' can i be honest with you'?

HB 'ye'

me -  'i approached you because i think you look amazing'  The funny thing was after i said i didnt feel as tense as before

HB 'thankyou, but i have a boyfriend!'

Damn how unlucky was that! anyway i sorta remedied the situation by telling her i was on a mission to change myself and to help others out , explaining that its not everyday that you get complimented. 

she was like - ' i feel a bit embarrassed and flattered at the same time' 

I cant remember how but the conversation led onto what schools we went to!??

i think we had been talking from just outside my house to the half way into town, when she said i need to wait for my friend here but your welcome to wait with me. 

I think that showed that i had done enought to make her feel comfortable around me! i was buzzing at that point, but replied with ' its ok' then just left.

A few moments i had realized what i had done, i could have got her number! dumb cunt :P walking a few paces ahead cursing myself. But im still buzzing as i write this.

I have never been direct with any of my approaches up until now, given me motivation to move forward, also its so easy to do to get a good reaction.

Being Sociable and My Best Phone Number Exchange to Date

Okay just to set the record straight I am taken now, i.e. I am in a relationship, so from now on I’ll be exploring in more ‘intimate’ routines and diving ‘deeper’ into the Game all puns intended. But before I was off the market, I had one of my most sociable nights ever and got one of my best phone number exchanges to date.

I went out to a local club where my friend had a free ticket to a launch night of a new night out. As soon as I arrived I handed my ticket over and low and behold my friend was working so we chatted a little before I walked inside. As I got in I spotted another friend and we chatted near the bar, by this time everyone that I was expecting to turn up already had and our social circle grew. As we chatted I threw negs at my friends, we had banter, I included people into the conversation by saying stuff like “what’s your thoughts on this [insert name here]” also I made sure I was introduced to people that I didn’t know so that everyone was involved by saying stuff like ‘hey [insert name here] don’t be rude introduce me to your friend, I don’t want them to feel left out.’ They then would always introduce me to them, sometimes it was a guy sometimes a girl, I wasn’t bothered I was just trying out new lines that I had learnt before going out that night. After a while we moved into the other room and an old friend from first year bumped into me and said hi, she was with a friend, quirky, tall, fairly pretty, (Lizzy) so I used my line again and she introduced me to Lizzy, but before I could give her my name, she saw someone else that she knew she grabbed Lizzy and walked off. But because I just felt so confident and social probably because of all the talking I’ve done before I just walked up to them and said ‘Hey sorry, I didn’t mean to rude and not introduce myself, but my name is Tim.” I reached out my hand and we shook hands.

I immediately noticed that she dressed differently to all the girls in the room and so I said “I can tell you’re probably an interesting person”.
“Er... am I.”
“Yeah I think so I’m getting a kinda vibe”
And then we fluffed a little, I asked her what year she’s in, what uni she went to and then I have no idea how the following words came out of my mouth, I hadn’t been drinking, but maybe because I was throwing around all that banter before I just felt confident and a little cocky and I said:
‘Hey, have you ever seen Finding Nemo? (she smiled) Do you know who you remind me of? Dory off Finding Nemo!’ and they she just burst out laughing.
‘Oh God!’ she half squirmed half laughed out, "it’s because I have quite a narrow face isn’t it?”
“Yeah sorry about that”
“Nah it’s cool I used to get the mick taken out of me when I was at school because I looked like Dory”.
“Me Omg, not cool, sorry for bring out the bad memories.”
“Don’t worry about it”.
Then I immediately cut the thread and moved on, I asked her what she studied. “English Lit and Creative Writing.”

Soon after her friend came back and they went to the dance floor and I went off to find my friends. They were sat down at a booth so I join them. Then not long after, Lizzy and her friend came back and they joined us, apparently my friends kinda new them as well. What luck! Then as time went on people went up to dance and got drinks and went to the toilet I just became Lizzy and I again. So I remembered that she studied English Lit and Creative Writing and having an interesting in literature and poems myself I was able to have a really nice and easy conversation with her about her favourite authors and my favourite authors and our GCSE English anthology and then I recommended her some books.
Then out of the blue she said, do you know what, you should had me on Facebook, and then I go, “Nah, No thanks.”
“Why?” she asks.
“I study communication studies, if you add someone on facebook and you barely know them you might as well not add them because you won’t be able to keep in contact enough, there’s no point.”
“Fair enough.” She replied. [Pause]
Me:“How about you give me your number?”
“You got a pen?
“Hahaha!, I can tell you’re old school because you asked for a pen instead of taking out your phone, I like that congratulate yourself.”
Then we walk to the bar, I ask a bartender to give me a pen, I take a napkin (thank goodness that they’re white) I rip the napkin in half and hand her half, she writes her details down and her name, and I say “Draw a picture of yourself, so I remember what you look like” Then she draws a face and a fish and draws an arrow pointing to the fish writing the word “Dory”. She hands me over the pen and I write down my Name and Number. Then we swap napkins, fair is fair. I know usually you’re supposed to be all cool when you get a phone number but as soon as it was over, I screamed “THAT WAS THE COOLEST PHONE NUMBER EXCHANGE EVER!” and she was like “Yeah totally!”

I think it’s honestly incredible what you can get away with if you say something in a confident and nonthreatening way. It’s also cool to see that all this stuff is slowly being ingrained into me and I’m becoming the confident sociable person that I set out to be when I started this journey.

Whenever anyone wants a wingman, give me a shout.
D

Park life

Today was a quite a windy day, something i didn't realize before i left the house. nonetheless to  keep up consistencey i pushed my self to go out.

The first approach i made was in the park. This girl was wearing a leopard patterned coat, approached her by asking for directions. As we were talking a massive gust kinda fucked it up a bit to the point were we couldnt hear what anyone was saying. But this in the interaction i managed to compliment her on coat (once i have complimented someone i can then move on to make an assumption). I didn't follow through with this because it was hard to commit to this conversation with a gale force breeze hitting you in the face. so close yet so far with this one! Basically the conversation dried out because no one could interact with the current weather conditions. ( how could i improve this situation?)

Another approach, opened a two set on the street and a bit of fluffing up the convo, i had reached a hook point! . I was curious about their accents so i asked. finding out that one of them was from Poland and the other from Belguim, not bad looking too HB7s. The funny thing was one girl asked me where my accent was from, i am assuming that's an ioi cause i have pretty recognizable English accent. But only just recognized that when writing up. 

So later on i brought up the topic of how they came to England, they were like its a long story, ... ive got to meet a friend and they walked off. (definitely know that mucked ) was the latter to demanding? or were they dodging the questions because they were illegal immigrants? 

Today i have opened up a 2 set which i have never done in the daytime and also complimented a girl on something shes wearing - All plus points. The negatives being - maybe not being able to read the situation clearly enough ( asking that question, maybe it was the wrong timing).

Back out Back in

I did my first proper approach in a while (daygame). from the previous post, i mentioned about my personal timing i think you might be able to relate to some of the stuff i put in there. Anyway like a gym work out i started off with little approaches such as asking for directions ( basically lots of indirect topics),  actually comparing them to the warm up sets before ive noticed the sets last longer. 

So im walking back home and unexpectedly straight ahead of me is this pretty fashionable HB ( the clothes shes wearing not an in trend of a woman) about 8sh maybe 9 if she really tried. we were walking towards each other . opened with a set of directions, she accepted to give directions, but afterwards i questioned her to qualify her something like 'are you sure' in an assertive voice and she starts giving me facts to why she is  confident in telling. Mid way through i made it a sort of joke by smiling making a cheeky assertion. i think now she was hooked as she was talking more than me. 

I moved on by asking her what she would buy with £100s and she gave some suggestions (i know ive over used this topic allot but this came out automatically, need to learn more to stack). a few minutes later she mentioned she'd bought a gift for her boyfriend recently. i was thinking fuck, but complimented her and ejected. 

The whole interaction lasted about 20 minutes, my longest daytime interaction yet. But looking back i can now see i left the set too early and basically roaming in the friend zone all time we conversed!